Feb 28, 2013

Screen Actors Guild

While Mcabe was paying $3099 !!!!!!!!!!  to join SAG today...I was browsing through their collection of memorabilia.  This from the co-founder and first president.

Mostly, I agree.  The Lord creates talents.  He creates actors.  And He sustains actors...for sure.  Actors are a special breed.

He can stop them also... though.  According to His unfailing love and His perfect will.

He can also bring about times of hiatus.

And times of productivity.

Feb 25, 2013


Cate tells me that I am a die hard optimist.  She says my unfailing hope is one of the "cutest" things about me.

Faith is a gift.  It is supernatural and it's of the Lord.

The gift of faith is the ability to envision what needs to be done and to trust God to accomplish it even though it seems impossible to most people.

Those with the gift of faith trust God in difficult, even impossible situations when others are ready to give up. These people are often visionaries who dream big dreams, pray big prayers, and attempt big things for Jesus. These people tend to be optimistic, hopeful, persevering, change-oriented, and future-focused. These people also tend to be very convincing about the truth of Scripture because they themselves are so convinced of the truth and power of God and his Word.

I would think that it is the spiritual gift that was given to me by the Lord at salvation...but I know it isn't.  I was given the spiritual gift of discernment.

The spiritual gift of discernment is the ability to quickly perceive whether such things as people, events, or beliefs are from God or Satan. People with the gift of discernment know that Satan and his demons disguise themselves as holy (1 Cor. 11:14-15). They also know that Satan empowers counterfeit miracles (Ex. 7:11-22; 8:7; Matt. 7:21-23; 2 Tim. 3:8) to deceive people (2 Thess. 2:9), and that he empowers false teachers (2 Pet. 2:1), false prophets (Matt. 7:15), false apostles (2 Cor. 11:13), and false doctrines (1 Tim. 1:3; 6:3).

Although it is not my primary gift...I do have strong and sturdy faith.  Again...faith is a gift.  I do not drum up faith all by my lonesome...in my own strength.  It's during those times...when I do rely on self sufficient faith that things tend to fall apart get all sorts of messy.

Many times...I see the big picture.  I see way into the horizon...all the way to the end thing.

I knowthatIknowthatIknow that the Lord is going to bring something to pass.

My timing is often off.

The ins and outs are sometimes comical.

I have faith that Bradley will work as an actor again.

I know it will happen.

That's why I can take him seriously when he returns home from a BMW commercial audition looking just like a German architect... as described in the breakdowns.  

Feb 23, 2013

Daisy Love

Even though we hadn't met her during her time on earth...we had prayed for her.

Daisy Love Merrick's memorial service was so lovely.

As the Lord would have it... Zion Evangeline has Bradley and I all to herself this week-end.  We are sharing many, many, many hugs.  Lots of kisses.  More than usual.  And that works out to be a lot of kisses cuz we usually kiss a lot. 

She is sleeping between us and we are singing together.  Lots of Praise and Worship songs.

When you are waking up on a Saturday morning to honor the life of an eight year old who is now living in Heaven...things like gluten free diet considerations fly out the window. In fact, we made a  conscious effort to throw caution to the wind and let whatever come what may...come what may.  

That meant bagels for breakfast.

BIG CHEW for the car ride up to Santa Barbara.

A giant peanut butter cookie and a soda for lunch...with a bag of salt & vinegar potoato chips.

Chin Chins for dinner...with white rice on the side...not brown.

And a candy stop for dessert.

Daisy's mom had a sweet request.  Everyone was to arrive dressed how they were most comfortable.  For Zion...that meant pj's and a tiara.   Oh yeah....and a few feathers in her hair.

Bradley and I had a day of deep discussion.  The sort that flows when life's routine is interrupted.  Days like today...when you are filling your tank with gas for sobering reasons.   Lots happening in our extended family...in our circles...our surrounding environment.  How does the Lord want us to respond?  Where does He want us to reach out? To remain hopeful yet patiently silent?  To act?  To wait? 

We ask.

We anticipate direction.

We desire to follow His lead.

Jesus always shows up.  And sometimes He does so when we least expect it.

Feb 20, 2013

Proverbs 20:22

UPDATE:  And after reading my post...Jemima was inspired to write her own post on the same verse. 
Add caption

Boy oh boy....it's a good thing I didn't actually kill him when I felt like it.

‎~ Proverbs 20:22 
Do not say, “I will repay evil”;
Wait for the Lord, and He will save you.

Wish I could say I followed ^^^^^^^  that instruction though.

I'm gonna wait a few minutes before and then I'll respond.  Just to make him sweat...I'm gonna say...

"I'll think about it."


On The Road

We are very spoiled.  Because our grown sons live with us...we get to be with them a lot.  That's the way we like it.

Braverijah Sage takes off on a 38 Day trip today with the camera kit...a new laptop on which he will be uploading and editing footage in real time...and travel sized toiletries.  He told me he didn't need full sized stuff cuz he'll just stock up along the way at hotel stops.

When I asked for an itinerary in case of emergencies...he said, "Just look up the Tour Dates on the band's website."

Smart kid.

38 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Swing by a show if you live in the neighborhood and give him a hug from Mommy.

Table Art

It wasn't until we were leaving Wurstkuche that I noticed Galilee's Table Art.

We never know whom our ART will affect.

Feb 19, 2013

Keeping it Real

I know I've said it before...but I'll say it again.  Parenting.  It's not for the faint of heart.  In case anyone is under the impression that we live a life devoid of daily struggles...

I struggle with authenticity. This post is for me to be real. Being fake is a hiding place for me. When things get real I hide because I see the real me and it scares me.  I don't go off somewhere by myself but I hide my true emotions. I don't like to accept myself for who I am. That's a problem. I'm insecure and sound desperate when I try to impress others. I jump in my sentences when I speak to get to my point quickly and jump to different topics at once. I'm an impatient person, not loving as how the Bible says that love is. I'm not always kind and take things for granted. I'm boastful and prideful. I am angry. I blame. I am hateful, and jealous too. Not always quick in repentance. I love music, when I am struggling at times I will praise God with blasting Christian music. It makes me feel good and it reminds me what is important when I'm struggling. It reminds me that God is in control through everything. God cares. If you want to get to know the real me, I am not the one who can make a joke, I'm not funny. I'm not the person to pick up on things quickly and I don't like to own that. I think authenticity is the most important thing in a person's life and I need to start living up to it and face my problems openly and not be afraid of who I am. Writing this post made me feel new and fresh. I can see  myself growing in the Lord. 

An hour ago I was told to publicly share about myself because I struggle with authenticity. I felt angry, scared, shy, embarrassed, and paralyzed. 

Now I feel bright like a light, clean, and have a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HEART!!!

with Love to my amazing and loving mother who NEVER gives up on me! Thank you!

Your Little Wretch,
Forever and Always,

Feb 17, 2013

Family Reunion

Mighty to Save

Mighty to Save....sung by Zion Evangeline.

Feb 16, 2013

Funny Kid

Two of Zion's funny sketches.

Feb 15, 2013

Worldview / Home-Education

Are we empty vessels to be filled?  Or....are we designed with a purpose?  By a designer.  In a very specific time & place.

This book's title is taken from a quote by Michelangelo.


“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”




Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

It can be understood to mean that the Lord will give me the things I desire...I suppose.


I take it to mean He will give me the desires themselves.   

Out of the Box / Home-Education

We all know what we model for those coming up under us makes an impact.  I love this sweet illustration of young eyes watching.

Mcabe sketching a deer with the help of a youtube tutorial.  Zion sketching a giraffe right by his side.

Mcabe is the kid who drew the concern of his Kindergarten teacher when he drew a tree.  Upside down.

We thought it was a great sketch.  And promptly pulled him (and Braverijah) out of that private school.

In the box education does not appeal to us.

I think Zion takes after her brother.

Feb 14, 2013

Philippians 1:6

When I saw Thomas of Downton Abbey come close to being arrested during the sixth episode of Season 3...I was reminded of my real life friend, Thomas.

Not only do the two Thomases have dashing good looks and ridiculous eye color shades in common...but both are homosexual men.  They both have a bit of a bitchy side...but it's their sensitive side that wins those around them over.

If Ethel...the dear thing...could be (and should be) given a second chance after her glaringly obvious offenses...it didn't seem fair to think of Thomas sitting all by himself in a cold and dreary jail cell.  After all...it looked to me like he would not be acting on his impulse again.  Jimmy the footman was safe as far as I could tell.  

Now...most everyone probably knows how I feel about homosexuality.  Or...maybe they think they do.

I believe what the Bible says about the topic.  As it is traditionally understood in orthodox Christian circles.

Like with all sin...adultery, fornication, lying, stealing, cheating, pride, unforgivness, unrighteous anger, murder, covetousness, self sufficiency, jealousy, distrust, unholy fear....etc....etc....etc....

... we are offered a covering which bridges the wide chasm that separates us from a Holy God.  That covering is the blood of Christ.

Because I am in Christ....when God looks "down" at me...He sees the Blood of Christ covering my sin.




And, because I am in Christ...I have the Holy Spirit  helping me live a victorious life.  One which battles sin to the ground daily.  Doesn't mean the skirmishes aren't a bloody mess.  Cuz sometimes they are.  It simply means that the ending to the story is one of victory.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ...  
Philippians 1:6

Okay....so stay with me here......

It's not a secret that we home-educate the kids.  It's not a secret that we instruct in all subject areas from a Biblical Worldview.  Some might say that our kids are being brain washed.  Some might take offense to the fact that they are not exposed to more "modern ideas."  There are even those out there who feel as if they should intervene.  That it is their duty to intervene.

Parental Rights.org is a great place to visit if you want to see what's happening on the front lines of the battle between people who think like us and people who think like the UN or Eric Holder.

Just like acting upon homosexual tendencies was illegal and is still illegal in some places... home-schooling is illegal in certain countries and might be deemed illegal here in America one day.

This brings me back to Thomas.  The modern day...real life one.

He said he would start a Get Dawn Out of Jail Fund in case the coppers ever got it in their crawl to haul me away for home-schooling.

Today marks the day that I start my Get Thomas Out of Jail Fund.   If the coppers ever fancy to show up at his door and drag him out into the street for doing you know what... they will have me to contend with.

And for that matter....I should really start a Fund for all my fornicating friends.  And all my unforgiving friends.  And all my prideful friends.  And all my drunk friends.  And all my self-righteous friends.  And all my hypocrite friends.  And all my gossiping friends.

At this rate...I'm gonna be penniless.

Feb 13, 2013

Audition Tape

This is the sort of thing we do at night...after Bradley gets home from work.  We make audition tapes.
It's fun.

Feb 10, 2013

Funny Valentine

Time is a funny thing.  It travels at great speed and stands still.

Last night...I walked into my history.  Yet it didn't feel quite like yesterday.  It sorta seemed current or maybe even like tomorrow.

Eve Brandstein...puts on events at Beyond Baroque.

Eve used to be a casting director.   I mentioned her a few years back when I posted about my secret longing.

Brad and I had an early Valentine's date nite.  Lots and lots of laughter as we listened to Funny Valentine tales from a variety of storytellers/performers/poets.  Really good stuff.

The two presentations that made me cry came from Jen

Mother of Syd.

I cried because her Funny Valentine offerings were so authentic. 

Feb 9, 2013

Dead Rabbit Pictures

The boys have been busy with music video work.

Rather than sending them to college...(which is not mandatory for their chosen careers)...our philosophy was and is...

Provide them early with necessary tools, equipment & opportunity.

Encourage their dreams. 

Cheer them on.

Feb 8, 2013


Jeni and the girls just pulled away.

I didn't shed an actual tear this time...and neither did she.  We're getting more & more used to the idea that the Lord wants us to not live in the same town.  But...my heart does hurt in a bittersweet way.  I really really miss her.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.                                  
Poverbs 18:24 

It's so loving of the Lord to provide friends with your same spiritual gift.  This way...no words are necessary.   You just "get one another." 

And when words flow...they flow and flow and flow.

Like a river.

And He's so wise when He provides friends who have different spiritual gifts.  Exactly the ones we need for healthy growth.  

I am richly blessed by my girlfriends.  Every one of them is an undeserved gift...presented beautifully by a generous Giver.  

Feb 5, 2013

Evangeline Cottage / Shalom

Every now and again I'm inspired to work on jewelry.  Evangeline Cottage...as many of my friends know...is the place where I take special orders for custom designs.   

This Shalom line has been slowly but surely working it's way out of my heart.

My inspiration?  

Post abortive friends...men and women...who have bravely shared their stories.  

And those who have lost children through no choice of their own to early death.  

Some have found healing in Christ.  Others are still searching.  

As a Christian...I know that shalom is found at Calvary and I would like to share that truth with whomever the Lord gives eyes to see and ears to hear.  


And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.    Luke 7:50

My hope is that  post abortive believers would wear my designs and that the Lord would provide open doors for stories of redemption to be shared.  

There are many out there who are engaged in this battle for life without being post abortive.  The message remains the same.  

Death is horrific.  Christ has conquered death.  The enemy is a dog on a leash.  The story is written and it ends in victory.  Christ longs for you to live a life of shalom...here on earth and for eternity.

For those believers who have had children taken "too soon"...we sympathize. 

Bradley and I have miscarried 5 times. We did not lose "tissue."  We lost 5 children to early death.  

We have many friends who have lost children to early death.  Some to miscarriage...some to still birth...some to death beyond the womb.  All children...in various stages of development...taken by death.  

The Lord weeps for the earthly loss of children.  

Because of the cross...and our beleif in all that was accomplished there....we live in shalom with our Lord.  

He creates life.  We are stewards of the lives He blesses us with.   

Children are fearfully and wonderfully made.            

 A portion of all proceeds will be donated to Abort 73 and Abolish Human Abortion. 

Please contact  isa646@aol.com for shipping instructions

*For those who desire an explanation for the use of skulls.  Christ died at Calvary or Gogaltha...also known as "Place of The Skull."  This is where He became victor over death.  In Him...believers share in that victory.

Traditionally skull imagery has been used in Art to call man to contemplate the vanity of earthly things and to symbolize mortality. 


Feb 3, 2013

Home-Education / The Hero's Journey

This might not mean much to most who visit my blog...but it will mean a lot to some of you, I am sure.

We show up to this Reality LA event with the girls yesterday afternoon...a screening of The Iron Giant at Barsdall Art Park.

The plan was to watch the film as a family...enjoy the snacks so generously provided and discuss in a group setting afterwards.

The end credits roll...the lights go up....and Pastor Tim gets up to lead the discussion using none other than THE HERO'S JOURNEY as a framework!!!!!!

video here

Confirmations are so sweet when they come.  Like little love whispers that hit you over the head like a brick.

Feb 1, 2013

Happy Flower Designs

I am very proud of Jemima Bakytgul... Little Dove in Hebrew & Happy Flower in Kazak.

She works hard at her studies and at her cottage industry.

This daughter of ours is passionate about Design, History & Politics,  and Literature.  It makes perfect sense that her passions would overlap.

Visit her etsy shop here.

I love Home-Education!