Feb 19, 2013

Keeping it Real

I know I've said it before...but I'll say it again.  Parenting.  It's not for the faint of heart.  In case anyone is under the impression that we live a life devoid of daily struggles...

I struggle with authenticity. This post is for me to be real. Being fake is a hiding place for me. When things get real I hide because I see the real me and it scares me.  I don't go off somewhere by myself but I hide my true emotions. I don't like to accept myself for who I am. That's a problem. I'm insecure and sound desperate when I try to impress others. I jump in my sentences when I speak to get to my point quickly and jump to different topics at once. I'm an impatient person, not loving as how the Bible says that love is. I'm not always kind and take things for granted. I'm boastful and prideful. I am angry. I blame. I am hateful, and jealous too. Not always quick in repentance. I love music, when I am struggling at times I will praise God with blasting Christian music. It makes me feel good and it reminds me what is important when I'm struggling. It reminds me that God is in control through everything. God cares. If you want to get to know the real me, I am not the one who can make a joke, I'm not funny. I'm not the person to pick up on things quickly and I don't like to own that. I think authenticity is the most important thing in a person's life and I need to start living up to it and face my problems openly and not be afraid of who I am. Writing this post made me feel new and fresh. I can see  myself growing in the Lord. 

An hour ago I was told to publicly share about myself because I struggle with authenticity. I felt angry, scared, shy, embarrassed, and paralyzed. 

Now I feel bright like a light, clean, and have a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HEART!!!

with Love to my amazing and loving mother who NEVER gives up on me! Thank you!

Your Little Wretch,
Forever and Always,


Anonymous said...

I LOVE the REAL you. You are an amazing person and I hope you can be you....not the fake you. I love you so much.


emma claire said...

I love the real you, Galilee.