I haven't been reading My Utmost For His Highest lately. Discussing an issue that the Holy Spirit is currently guiding me through... my mom told me to go back to a specific date and read from there...each message...meant for each day of this current issue..... as it unfolds.
What an intimate Father! To send his Son. What a loving Son. To go to the Father and send the Spirit!
This is off.
That is off.
This is skewed.
That is skewed.
This is backwards.
That is upside down.
This is wonky.
That is wacky.
It all boils down to the problem of sin. And the gaping whole sin leaves in hearts and in relationships and in worldviews...and in history...and in current events.
The world has a sin problem. The nations have sin problems. Our nation has a sin problem. Our churches have sin problems. Our communities have sin problems. Our families have sin problems. We ourselves have sin problems.
Collective sin and personal sin.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked : who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9
There are times when I am angry over sin (hopefully my anger is a righteous one....and hopefully I do not react to my anger in a sinful way.)
I am usually grieved by sin. That's how sinful I am...usually....how sinful is that?
Other times....I am overwhelmed. And I am tempted to become apathetic.
Depression threatens to set in. It's as if the issues swirling are so huge. The mountains are so massive and eyes are so blinded...hearts so hardened....that I tend to shut down.
I don't though. Entirely.
During those times I become quiet.
I watch. I listen. I pray.
And I wait.
Sometimes....I wait for days. Other times...it is for weeks...maybe months.
And then there are the times that I wait for years.
When the Holy Spirit prompts me to move...I obey.
I act. I say. I do. I text. I call. I pray harder and I pray again.
This relationship that I have with the Holy Spirit cannot be described adequately.
It's intimate. It's alive. It's growing. It is deepening.
He is ever present and on my side. He is...my Helper...my Kick in the Pants...my Restrainer...my Trustworthy Companion. He knows my heart and He knows my needs. He intercedes on my behalf. He goes before me...He hold my hand during... and He swoops in after me.
When I walk in the Spirit and obey what is whispered (not audibly :)...I can leave the consequences of whatever life's circumstances may be in His hands.
When He awakens me in the middle of the night to wrestle something out...I can trust that the skirmish we are engaged in is a worthy one.
It's been a long night. And I am tired. My flesh is weak.
The following won't mean much to most. It might speak to a few.
This post has been in the works in my heart and mind and in my blog drafts folder for over a week now....and then I entered Sunday's service to be met with a sermon.
The Spirit of Truth
Intimacy as He urges me to search amongst the things that appear dry & brittle & lifeless...scattered in the wind....
...in order to find treasure.
Jan 14, 2013