This will be controversial but, WOW! Reading up on the many Attachment Struggling families who have been at the best side-tracked....and at the worst traumatized by Dr. Ezzo's (Growing Kids God's Way) teachings.
It simply does not make sense to me to allow any..... BABY...... to cry for any lengthy period of time....attachment struggles or not. We have always been an on demand feeding, co-bathing (younger years or as attachment progress dictates), co-sleeping sort of clan. You can take the Christians out of the hippie but you can't take the hippie out of these Christians :)
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Now, what to do w/the older child who is crying or throwing a tantrum?
If they are attached and sinning....discipline. Don't just punish and walk away....because that is not discipline. With punishment there is no instruction....no brokenness....no reconciliation...no healing. Have lots of eye contact. Lots of hugging. A big fat kiss goodnight and tomorrow's a new day.
If the child is unattached or struggling to attach ....deal with the child as if he/she were a baby or young child. Cuddle. Spoon/hand feed. Bathe together (maybe w/ bathing suits for older kids.) Co-sleep (maybe sleeping bags on the floor)......etc. Attachment struggles offer us opportunities to show compassion.
I'm sorry...but to me...allowing babies to cry it out seems so counter to anything I would ever consider doing. And as far as navigating life in the attachment world goes....seems so unwise to me.
The Lord really does know what He is talking about. His instructions to parents are for all children. He doesn't say do this for attached children but do that for unattached or struggling to attach children.
Our children are gifts. We are to cherish our children...to love children...to build trusting relationships, and to discipline them...training and instructing them in the ways of Lord.
Obviously each child within a home might need different disciplining and training techniques. They will all be guided by the same principles, however. What works with some will not always work with others. We must know our children well and be on our knees asking for wisdom and guidance as far as the shepherding of each individual heart is concerned.
If you are anything like Bradley and I....you have failed on occasion in your parenting choices. You have sinned and punished your children rather than disciplined them...or failed to do anything at all when called to.
Repent.
It simply does not make sense to me to allow any..... BABY...... to cry for any lengthy period of time....attachment struggles or not. We have always been an on demand feeding, co-bathing (younger years or as attachment progress dictates), co-sleeping sort of clan. You can take the Christians out of the hippie but you can't take the hippie out of these Christians :)
------------------------------------------------------------
Now, what to do w/the older child who is crying or throwing a tantrum?
If they are attached and sinning....discipline. Don't just punish and walk away....because that is not discipline. With punishment there is no instruction....no brokenness....no reconciliation...no healing. Have lots of eye contact. Lots of hugging. A big fat kiss goodnight and tomorrow's a new day.
If the child is unattached or struggling to attach ....deal with the child as if he/she were a baby or young child. Cuddle. Spoon/hand feed. Bathe together (maybe w/ bathing suits for older kids.) Co-sleep (maybe sleeping bags on the floor)......etc. Attachment struggles offer us opportunities to show compassion.
I'm sorry...but to me...allowing babies to cry it out seems so counter to anything I would ever consider doing. And as far as navigating life in the attachment world goes....seems so unwise to me.
The Lord really does know what He is talking about. His instructions to parents are for all children. He doesn't say do this for attached children but do that for unattached or struggling to attach children.
Our children are gifts. We are to cherish our children...to love children...to build trusting relationships, and to discipline them...training and instructing them in the ways of Lord.
Obviously each child within a home might need different disciplining and training techniques. They will all be guided by the same principles, however. What works with some will not always work with others. We must know our children well and be on our knees asking for wisdom and guidance as far as the shepherding of each individual heart is concerned.
If you are anything like Bradley and I....you have failed on occasion in your parenting choices. You have sinned and punished your children rather than disciplined them...or failed to do anything at all when called to.
Repent.
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