Our Silver Anniversary

We met in Hollywood.  25 years ago today we were married in New York City.  We've lived through rocky times and have seen seasons of smooth sailing.  We've met Jesus.  We've wrestled with HIM.  We've learned from HIM.  We've made some good choices and we've made some poor choices.  We are parenting five children together and lost five children together.  We've seen career success...career change...and career struggle.  We've traveled.  We've stayed put.  We've home-educated together.  We've had much and we've had little.  We've liked each other and not so much.   We've misunderstood one another and perfectly understood one another...sometimes in the span of an hour.   We've fought and we've made up.  We've laughed a lot and cried a lot. We've lost and gained family.  We've lost and gained friends.  We've seen attacks come and go.   We've battled the enemy of our souls.  We've switched states four times.   We've encouraged and found encouragement in one another.   We've walked in fear.  We've walked in truth.  We've walked in freedom.  Side by side.   Together.

Not always as ONE.

That's a hard one to navigate.  Only with the Lord is it truly possible.

Thanking the Lord today for preserving and protecting our marriage in this fallen world.  To HIM be all the glory.  

Mother's Day

Let me tell you about our kids.

Our first is in Heaven.  How we celebrated this precious life and wept openly over our earthly loss.

Braverijah Sage, our second child and first born son,  is a gentle soul.  He is strong.  He is steady.  Like a rock.  He is wise.  He has understanding. He has taught me how to trust more.   

Our third child is in Heaven.  Such joy.  And such terrible sorrow.

Mcabe Justus, our fourth child and youngest son, lives life boldly.  What you see is what you get.  He is emotional and tender-hearted.  He feels deeply. He is a truth-teller.  And so loving.  And so forgiving. He has taught me how to live a better life.

Our fifth child is in Heaven.  Utter excitement and then heavy heavy grief.

Galilee Polina, our oldest daughter, has challenged me and the Lord has used our relationship to grow me in ways that I never saw coming and never thought possible.  She is raw.  She is curious.  She is a fighter.  She is determined.  She is learning how to rest.  She has taught me much about love and being loved and she has grown my patience.  

Jemima Bakytgul, our middle daughter,  is motivated.  She is disciplined.  She is joy filled. She is discerning and wisdom pours from her lips. She has taught me how to walk in truth and leave the past in the past. 

Our eighth child is in Heaven.  The kids gathered around me to hear the heartbeat.  And the
ever-so-sad technician had to call the doctor into the room because there was none.  Pain.  Enormous & stabbing pain.

Zion Evangeline is our ninth child and our youngest girl. She is the most intuitive person I know.  She is loyal.  She is sold out.  Nothing but absolute truth will you get.  She has taught me how to be present...and how to be more ME. 

Our tenth child is in Heaven.  Hope and dreams.... and then tears which turn into sobs.

These are my children.  I am their mother.

Happy Mother's Day to all my dear friends who have been blessed with the gift of motherhood.


Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.      Psalm 127:3

To our daughters' birthmothers...thank you for their lives.

To my friends who grieve on this Mother's Day...I grieve alongside you.  

Isaiah 43:19

This trip was gonna be different.  In a few ways. 

In bittersweet ways.

 We drove in just in time for Neal's 40th B-Day Bash.

 

The Lord.

When He provides and encourages and blesses through relationships...it's really incredible.

He is incredible.

It's amazing how much we take for granted.  So much beauty in our own backyards.

Beauty all around us.

 

This sweet friendship.  Ever so precious.

And these girls.

Listing the house was more difficult than we imagined.

After a good old cry...Zion and I stuffed our faces with  10,000 calorie Chick-fil-a lunches.

These darling "farewells."

 

You've been good to us, Arizona.  We love you. 

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  

Isaiah 43:19

TWIMW

The week we arrived in LA...almost four years ago...I joined a Women's Bible Study.  This group of gals has been a soft place for me.  A source of strength.  A place of comfort.  A place of discomfort.  A place of authenticity.  A place of vulnerability.  A place of stretching.  A place of worship. A place of tears.  A place of prayer.  A place of understanding.  A place of truth.  A place of laughter.  A place of friendship.  A place of transparency.  A place of humility.  A place of growth.  A place of rest. 

I know that I know that I know that the Lord loves me.

And the fact that He has given me sisters in Christ in this place is one of the evidences of his love.

 For such a time as this, Girls. 

Easter Sunday 2015

On this day...in the 

Spring Break

Life of Death & Murder of Crowe

Brad's been busy lately...working with emerging filmmakers.  Lots of opportunities to minister to younger industry kids and some folks his own age too ;)

And the way this work is ministering to his heart and soul...so good.  So so good. 

Life of Death Shoot

Directors/ Jeff Caparula and Kim Smither

Get this...it's so like the Lord....an actress, Hannah Barefoot....auditions and books the job.  Winds up she's a believer.  She and her husband go to Reality LA!!!!! ....and she's gonna check out the Tues. morning fellowship group I attend.

God.  My God, you are so wonderful and a masterful weaver.


Murder of Crowe Shoot

 

Anthony Tyler Quinn (Tony) is a great guy.  He and Brad encourage one another in the Lord and in their work.  

 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17

Evangeline

I think I met an angel yesterday.  At the Buena Vista Library in Burbank.

I walk through the front door and head directly to the Book Store.  Jemima disappears to return a stack of movies and find some new ones we can borrow.

First thing I do ...is encounter a rolling shelf of old titles.  No lie...I have no idea why...but I pick up a thin...yellowed...paperback ...it's front cover hidden by a price tag.

$3.00.  That's all I know going in.

I scooch over the price tag to see what this little book is called and...

...Evangeline is the answer.

Wait!  What??????????

EVANGELINE?!?!?!?!?!?!

Evangeline is the name of the screenplay we just completed and are about to shop around town.

WHAT????!?!!!!!!!!

Seriously?

I look around.  There's nobody in close proximity...whom I think will get it ( at least the way I am getting it) to share my utter astonishment with.

I chuckle out loud.

The Lord has a way of encouraging me.  He does it ALL the time.

HEiscloserthancloseeversoclose.

Then...as I am chuckling to myself...and browsing the rest of the shelves...probably appearing a bit nutso or maybe blending right in...who knows?????....

...an older man in a straw hat hands me a $5 bill and tells me to buys something for my kids.

What??????

Who does that??????

I laugh out loud.

What a sweetheart.

Before I know it ...he is gone.

I try to find him so that Jemima can get a good look...but he is nowhere to be found.

A fun little addition...the copy of Evangeline I now own...was printed in 1895!  That takes me to the end of the time period our Evangeline back door series would bring us to. 

Making Money - Rodney Rinks Project

Free Time

I teach a weekly Writing Class in our home to a small group of girls.  After we are finished skyping with 2 students in Arizona...these LA girls are free to spend their afternoons pretty much however they please.  I don't really get involved.

Free Time.

Sometime last Autumn...Zion found pumpkins at the .99 Cent Store and bought a whole bunch to decorate with her friends.

We usually keep a bucket of chalk around...and picnics are easy.

The girls are ALWAYS dressing up (wealthy Beverly Hills girls here) ...hanging in the closet/club...or buying .99 Cent Store ingredients so they can play Chopped.

They do "make-up."

Sometimes I find them dancing.

Last week...they put on a play..Sleeping Beauty.

Flora...Fauna...and Merryweather with Aurora.