May 21, 2014


I was speaking to a friend recently about seasons of relational trouble.

It happens.

We can have times of trouble with spouses...our parents...our kids...our friends...co-workers...Bible Study girls...pastors...neighbors.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what seems to have been the root cause of some of the troubling situations I've found myself in over the years. 

I think...I'm getting close.

It seems to me that when trouble arises it is either because I am unwilling to affirm another in some aspect of their life or visa versa.

The visa versa trouble usually comes from Brad or one of my kids.  Or a very close friend.  When I am walking in unrepentant sin...they know it.  I want to hold on to whatever it is I'm holding on to for how ever long I want to hold on to it...and I want them to affirm me in whatever it is I want them to affirm me in.  

It's during times such as these that I find myself having relational trouble.

Sin is sneaky.  Often...only the intimates in our lives are aware we are in a season of unrepentant sin.  Cuz we like to hide our sin.  And hidden sin can take a long time to surface publicly. 

So...I might be looking all pretty and lovely and Godly to the outside world...but the intimates the Lord has placed in my life...with purpose and full intent btw...know better.  They know me better.

Thank YOU, Lord for that.

That is amazing. 

Now...how about those times when someone I love wants me to affirm them in their life choices and I simply cannot.

Because of my convictions...I cannot.

It's not gonna happen.  

For instance...I have a dear dear dear friend whom I love to death.  I will never tell this friend that in his/her case choosing abortion was okay.  Validation for that choice is never gonna come out of my mouth.  I know all the story details.  The when, why, because ofs and hows.  Not gonna say it was okay. 

Other dear dear dear friends & a family member...want to hear from me that acting out on homosexual desires is fine for them/him/her.  Not gonna hear it.  Not from Dawn.

Family members who were caught up in a cult for  20 plus years.  Never ever ever were gonna hear from me that Mormonism falls inside the pale of Christian orthodoxy.  It wasn't gonna happen.

A friend who's sleeping with a married man/woman.  Nope.  Not okay. Not gonna say it is.

An unmarried friend...living with their significant other.  Prior to marriage.  Heterosexuals.  Consenting adults.  No. Not gonna tell them "it's fine."  It's not fine. 

Here's the thing...there would be absolutely zero relational trouble if they were not looking for me to affirm their choices.

What I have to say about choices people make doesn't mean diddly squat to any relationship.... 

...If those people making the choices that I am unwilling to affirm are willing to live together at peace.

If however...they need affirmation from me...we will have trouble...and what I have to say or not say will become a roadblock for them. 

I guess the question that lingers is...Am I willing to live at peace with those who do not affirm what I have to say about any given matter?

The answer must be "yes." 

Of course I am.



Are they correct in their non-affirmation?

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Romans 12:18

Don't wanna home-educate?  Don't.
Wanna celebrate Halloween?  Do.
Wanna use birth control?  Do.
Don't wanna talk politics?  Don't.
Wanna sit under unbiblical teaching.  Do.

Minigods demanding to be worshipped.  That's what we become when we dig our feet in deep & withold love from those who do not affirm whatever choice of ours we want them to affirm.