Mar 17, 2013


March 17th holds a special place in my heart.  It's the date we traveled to Russia in 2000 and the same date we traveled to Kazakhstan in 2001.  Both times we left the continent...hearts overflowing with joy and ever so much hope...in obedience to the call of adoption.

One transition and folding in has been challenging.  The other has not.

Individuals find all sorts of things to worship.

One of my weak spot tends to manifest itself in relational issues.  Placing others before the Lord. Holding on and holding out with white knuckles...gripping...clenching...fearing...bowing to anxiety...

It really boils down to pride.

Lord...this is not the way it should be.  I know better than you do.  I don't like your timing here.  Don't you know how much this pain hurts???????  Lord,  are you sure you know what you're doing?  Why do you tarry? 

I 've now experienced two intimate long term non-reciprocal relationships and they are anything but pleasant. I've grieved heavily over the losses and brick walls that have come my way.

But.......these earthly disappointments have passed through the throne room of my loving Savior and King.  The Lord who created me and knows my needs better than I do.  The one who works all things together for my good and His glory because I am His child.

March 17,  2013 marks the day I hand over the second particular relationship to the Lord.  100%.  For real this time.   No take backs.   I'm stepping aside ...coming off the throne...knowing the Creator is to be trusted with His creation.

Letting go and letting God is not the same thing as giving up. 

Both of these relationships are fa·mil·ial in nature.
We know that He places us in the families He places us in for very specific reasons.  In time.  In HIStory for His purposes.  He makes no errors.  And He is intentional.

No earthly relation...not mother...not father...not brother....
not husband...not son...not daughter.....
not friend...will come before my relationship with the Lord.

And that means...I am going to continue on... loving them in His strength.  When I am weak... that's when He is proven strong.

This post is my touchstone.


Anonymous said...

I'm with you. Me too. Thanks.