Homosexuality and the Christian Faith

I have a new hero...in the faith.

Her name is Dr. Rosaria Butterfield.  She is obviously intelligent...but it's her wisdom I admire.

She's funny.

Love her strait forwardness.

She's transparent and seems super humble.

Authentic.

And full of compassion.

I want to meet this chick.  If not here on earth...then one day in Heaven for sure.

I remember a time or two before the Lord interrupted my life and saved me from myself...when Christians tried to plant seeds.  I hated it when they said...they'd pray for me.  They sounded so self righteous.  How dare they pray for me!  What they really needed to do was go and pray for themselves.

Obviously, they were the ones in need of prayer.

To hear that I was a sinner was so offensive.  To my pride.  Didn't they know how good I was?  How much better of a person than so&so I was????  How many good things I did each and every day?

...but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. James 1:14

The Lord is ever so patient and persistent in His loving kindness.

He wooed me in such a way that all I could do was fall deeply and passionately in love with Him.

Jade's Quinceanera

I am without my camera kit for the moment.  Braverijah's got it on the road with him...shooting 

The Summer Set.  

I feel lost without a camera.  

Snapped these on my phone.  

The girls got to experience their first Quinceanera.  Jade...a girl they know from Youth Group...is  1/2 Mexican and 1/2 Chinese.  She's also very  sweet.

Touchstone

March 17th holds a special place in my heart.  It's the date we traveled to Russia in 2000 and the same date we traveled to Kazakhstan in 2001.  Both times we left the continent...hearts overflowing with joy and ever so much hope...in obedience to the call of adoption.

One transition and folding in has been challenging.  The other has not.


Individuals find all sorts of things to worship.

One of my weak spot tends to manifest itself in relational issues.  Placing others before the Lord. Holding on and holding out with white knuckles...gripping...clenching...fearing...bowing to anxiety...

It really boils down to pride.

Lord...this is not the way it should be.  I know better than you do.  I don't like your timing here.  Don't you know how much this pain hurts???????  Lord,  are you sure you know what you're doing?  Why do you tarry? 

I 've now experienced two intimate long term non-reciprocal relationships and they are anything but pleasant. I've grieved heavily over the losses and brick walls that have come my way.

But.......these earthly disappointments have passed through the throne room of my loving Savior and King.  The Lord who created me and knows my needs better than I do.  The one who works all things together for my good and His glory because I am His child.

March 17,  2013 marks the day I hand over the second particular relationship to the Lord.  100%.  For real this time.   No take backs.   I'm stepping aside ...coming off the throne...knowing the Creator is to be trusted with His creation.

Letting go and letting God is not the same thing as giving up. 

Both of these relationships are fa·mil·ial in nature.
We know that He places us in the families He places us in for very specific reasons.  In time.  In HIStory for His purposes.  He makes no errors.  And He is intentional.

No earthly relation...not mother...not father...not brother....
not husband...not son...not daughter.....
not friend...will come before my relationship with the Lord.

And that means...I am going to continue on... loving them in His strength.  When I am weak... that's when He is proven strong.

This post is my touchstone.

Life w/Brothers

Zion:   MOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!  He touched his wiener and then put his hand on my  
           face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We Burn Our Idols

"God created the world.  If you do not know the purpose of the world...you will abuse it.  God created marriage.  If you do not know the purpose of marriage....you will abuse it.  God gives us our families.  If you don't know the purpose of family...you will abuse it.  God gives us architecture and science and literature and art...and if we do not know the purpose of those things....we will abuse them.  And the purpose of those things is to magnify the wisdom of God...to magnify the mercy of God...to magnify the redemptive acts of God.  If you do not know that...you will abuse the thing and all of the sudden man becomes the center and focal point of all your architecture...all your art...all your music...all your science." - Voddie Baucham

I have a huge box of things I've written...various project in various stages of development.  Pages and pages (1000's of them) of plot lines, characters, and dialogue.

Some of it's even quite decent.

My flesh wants to hold on to all of it.  These works are a testament to years of hard work, dedication,  experience, education, and talent.

But all of it...is PAST stuff.

Stuff written prior to salvation.  Prior to the Lord saving me from myself.  Prior to Him redeeming me.

Hard work,  dedication, and talent wielded  in my own strength...for my own glory.

I've been pondering whether or not the Lord wants me to rework one or two of these stories.  With new eyes.

It's what's makes the most sense, right? A tweak here.  A tweak there.  That's all it would take...to get some of this work into shape.  To fit them into my new worldview and sensibilities.  It would certainly be the easiest thing to do.  The quickest road to achieving results...placing me back in the swing of things...represented by an agent...shopping my work around Tinsel Town.

But,  "No."

But....Jesus.

It hit me clearly just this very morning...the Lord wants me to actually bury my past in an intentional move before a step forward is to take place.

By bury...I mean...kill.

Like chains around my neck... are these stories of old.

That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.  John 3:6

I am to have a touchstone moment.  A monument to return to. A memorial place.

In response to what the Lord has shown me and in an act of obedience ....




... I decided tossing pages into flames would be more fun than tossing them into a garbage can.  I recruited my kids to help me.


In Jemima's words, "Some families play board games.  We burn our idols."

... I decided tossing pages into flames would be more fun than tossing them into a garbage can.  I recruited my kids to help me.


In Jemima's words, "Some families play board games.  We burn our idols."

Late Night Ramblings

I might have already blogged about some of this stuff...but I don't go back and re-read my posts...so I don't really know.   Even if I have....obviously it's a new day...which hopefully brings new insights.  

It's been known to my family and close friends that I was feeling restless and itchy for quite a while......as if I were being prepared for something.

Then the move to LA occurred.

Since then...it's coming up on 2 years (which I can hardly get my head around)...I've been going through something...processing through something.

It's come to the forefront of my consciousness that..... during this season.....in which I've run the gamut of emotions....that I've been mostly surviving.  Merely surviving.

I've gone from feeling shell shocked...to trusting totally...to being fearful & stuck...to being brave...to being exhilarated...to being tossed to & fro.... to feeling lonely...to being hopeful...and then back to stuck....sometimes all in the same week.  

There have been lots of high points during this time...but for the most part...in general...I have been navigating life in a fog.  

I've been functioning while in a depressed state.  A subtle one.  But one nevertheless.

LA brings up much for me.  Even things I wasn't anticipating.  

I've known this city since the age of 10.  I've enjoyed it...despised it and been apathetic towards it.  Not it...cuz I'm not sure you can attach those emotions to a place...but they can definitely be attached to what LA represents during various times in my history.   

Never have I loved it.

Until now.

I really really think I love this city.  It's just a city.  A place.  Why do I have this affection?  Can I attach such feelings to a place?  Maybe it's what LA represents right now that I am in love with?

I think that's it.

It represents faith.

And trust.

And hope.

And abandon.

And redemption.

And obedience.

And growth.

And abiding.

What is the Lord up to?

He will make a way...I know...but which way?

This way?

That way?

The good news is the Lord has never left my side and that He has brought me out of the fog.

He's been tenderly & persistently moving me forward...I know...but now I actually detect the movement.

On a completely other note....

The older I get...the more clarity I have.  Clarity about what I like and what I don't like.

One of the first things on my TO DO LIST is to clean out my closet.  I have lots of cool things hanging in there...but I need to streamline.

I want my wardrobe to represent who I am.

This is what I am drawn to...and what I am going for...

I'm not even sure why I am blogging all this.  Maybe it's because I want to express the idea that when the Lord shakes things up in our lives...or when He slows them down...it might have something to do with Him showing us who we really are.  Who He created us to be.

And when our identities are found in HIM and HIM alone we are truly free to be who we are because He gives us the desires of our hearts.  He actually puts them in  their.

idk

.....it's late and I feel if I continue....I'm gonna start rambling...

One more thing...

....the safest place to be is to be within the will of God.

Mark Sayers / The Road Trip That Changed The World

What brings a large crowd out in Hollywood...pretty much known for it's self absorption... on a cold rainy night?

A Mark Sayers lecture.

He not only seems to have his pulse on current sociological worldview trends & patterns...but on things off in the horizon as well.


Memorable home-educating moment of the evening...."when we are clinging so tightly to our dreams...we're just like Smeogol with his ring."  That one caught the attention of Jemima.  I didn't mind that she was busy with a crafting project cuz I knew she was listening.

I got to speak with Pastor Mark briefly...in order to probe deeper into something he said during the
Q & A.

Yeah I heard him right.  He most definitely thinks the "Western World" is gonna come head to head with a militant China sooner rather than later.

In so many words....It's gonna be insane.  It's gonna be ugly.  An epic showdown.  He prays for peace...but it is not looking like it will go that way.  The Chinese are having mostly boys.  Raising them as "little emperors."

It's his sort of talk that resonates with me.  It's like a kindred soul thing.  Brother & Sister...living on different continents....speaking the same language.

I'm so excited to read his latest book.  In fact...I'd like to read every book he's written.

The photo of Jemima crafting during the lecture reminded me of another similar Jemima moment.

She and Galilee take a Physiology & Anatomy class at Master's College.  She arrived home one day recently...only for me to discover that she had been sketching prom dress designs during Science class. 

There was no way I could be upset with her though...cuz she promptly waved her test in front of me.   100%...and....she had discovered 2 errors that the prof hadn't noticed prior to her questioning the original grade he had given her. 

Knowing her...she'll probably be the only Gregg kid to ever attend a prom.

I Love Home-Education

And.........moving on.